this could be the end

You know that friend i've been whining about...well she finally texted me tonight wanting to hang out. I was with one of her exes the guy i've been friends with forever and well b4 they dated. She just out of the blue wanted me to come over and hang out and i couldnt help but get peeved over it. I was going to try and hang out with her but she can't not be with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend she claims to love now but when she first started dating him said it was just to be dating someone and she didnt have feelings for him. this whole situation just upsets me because this isnt who she was, i dont know her anymore at all and she says she doesnt know me. how can you just lose everything in the blink of an eye? I just wish i didnt care b/c it seems like she doesnt. She also made some comment about how she can at least take a chance on love...well how can i be expected to take a chance on love when i cant even tust the people who are my friends. In case anyone is wondering, a guy friend is no substitute for a girl friend. they have no idea what to say...it sucks.

get busy living or get busy dying

So, I didn't have my interview Friday b/c the girl that was supposed to do it forget that she wouldn't be there @ 2 when I was supposed to have it. We rescheduled it for t/m...or should i say today. Either way you wanna say it, I hope I do well and get this job b/c I REALLY need it. I went to see Friday the 13th on...Friday the 13th of course...there's really no other way to do that. All the kool ppl do lol It was actually pretty good! I was really suprised because for the longest time I haven't been able to find a scary movie that can actually scare me. This one had a few parts that actually made me jump, it was great. It was funny too b/c I had a guy friend with me and that stuff was startling him too. I was like wow good thing I'm not one of those ppl that needs "protecting," so to speak, in a movie like that lol On V-day or as us single ppl refer to it, single awareness day, My mom gave me some presents b/c she is kool like that lol and we went shopping like ALL day...then i went out to eat chinese food with some friends at wild wok and it was really good. We also rented a movie and played wii. It wasn't too bad and i had fun so that goes to show that u don't need a "significant other" to have a good valentines day. Although I didnt have as much fun as my other friend who hung out and danced around to loud music, watched some boys strip down to their boxers and then do body shots lol I don't think I would be too interested in doing the body shots though...from what i've seen u usually drink some sort of alcohol out of someones belly button and that just seems kinda, really gross to me...today...i have not really done anything. I slept til 12 noon...watched 2 episodes of monk, played raquetball, watched more tv, read a book (confessions of a shopaholic, not too bad) and now i'm on the computer. I was gonna goto the movies but the friend I wanted to take had to work poo poo on that. now i am procrastinating getting into the shower and going to bed. I really need to b/c I have school and that interview t/m. I don't know what happened either...I was doing so well not missing any school and doing all my school work and now I just don't feel like going anymore. I have to though. I refuse to flunk out b/c i'm lazy. I don't want to miss too much either. What's really pissing me off though...I took a test in social psych OVER a week ago and the stupid teacher hasnt graded it yet or has just failed to post the grades...hello, we want to know this stuff, its kind of important. On another note...my "best friend" is still an idiot, i case anyone is wondering. I think i have demoted her...if you go by quality of friendship as of late, amount of time spent together and how much we talk and the friend checks in just to say hey, my best friend is this guy I call petey lol (thats not his real name, i nick named him that :-P) I've known the kid for like 9 or 10 yrs (something crazy like that)...we havent always been close off and on. He listens to me rant like a best friend should and doesnt mind just hangin out and talking. we play video games, goto the movies, stay up til ridiculous hours and are always texting or IMing. thats how best friends should act. Best friends do not ignore you, pretend to have phone problems as an excuse to why they ignore you, be stuck up their boyfriends ass and...can u guess? ignore you!, never goto the movies with you, never call, never IM, never come over, only send you texts that are fwds and ironically claim how u are their best friend and u should forward the message back to them. the latest was really laughable, something like...if i had to choose b/t taking my last breath and sayin i love you, i would say i love you b/c u are my best friend...send this to all ur friends you never wanna lose or some bull like that...I was like oh...thanks but could u maybe use some of ur breaths now to say hey once in a while?

I guess i'm off to get ready for bed. good night ppl!

from the land of hope and excitement

Today...was a good day. For one, I didn't goto school. I was going to and then I didnt wake up in time to get ready. I had a job interview today and needed to make sure I was all nice and clean for that so I couldn't just goto school in comfy clothes. I just chilled for the morning and watched tv then I went to my interview. GAH, I was so0o nervous, it was ridiculous. It turned out that I didn't even do the interview part today. I did the testing part and did REALLY well. I got 47 wpm typing and they only require 20. I also got a 93 on the other part of the test(only missed 2). Now I have another interview Friday at 2 and I hope, hope, hope that I get this job. I need it so0o bad. Another good thing, I went to the movies today and saw Push. It was awesome. I loved it but hated the end b/c I have to wait for the next one, assuming they make a next one to figure out what happens.

wish me luck for Friday!

from the land of boredum and dissappointment

Today hasn't been a very eventful day. I wasn't really in the mood to do anything. I told my friend that we would go see Bride Wars but when I thought about it today, I realized I didn't want to go. I had already seen it twice and honestly the second time was one too many. I went anyway of course because I hate to be ditched by my friends so I try to never do that to someone else. I also went to another friends jewelry party...not really my thing but I like to be there for my friends. Quite the opposite case for my friends liking to be there for me. I have pretty much given up on my so-called, "best friend." Here's the deal with that...she is dating someone that is no good for her. He is holding her back by letting her coast along as she has been for the past year and it's no good at all. She used to have such a drive to do something with her life and now she isn't doing anything. She has no job and isn't taking any classes. She just stays up his butt all the time and hardly talks to her family and friends. I know it's her life but I can't help but think she is wasting it. She is a serial dater. Her relationships are based on convenience and she fools herself into thinking its love when its not. I tried to tell her this and she just brushed it off. Recently, we hadn't really hung out at all and she called me and said we should hang out like old times and that was nice. We stayed on the phone for two hours at least and it was nice to talk but of course the plans didn't hold. I called her one day after I got out of school and offered to pick her up and invited her to the gym w/ me and then we could goto her mom or dad's house to hang out and she said no. She had to help her b/f move. That was fine. She said she was going to her mom's house later on and would call me when she got there. That never happened. We've talked once since and she never said anything like sorry, such and such came up and i didnt get a chance to call...nothing like that at all. I know she had been looking for a job recently and I found one that wouldn't be too bad so I called to tell her about it and she didn't answer. What could someone who is unemployed and not in school be doing that they can't be bothered to answer their phone? W/e I thought, I'll just leave a voicemail...nothing. I text her and asked if she got said voicemail...nothing. I am really fed up with this. Another thing that isn't right...one of our mutual friends is having a baby and she was supposed to help throw the baby shower and she completely flaked out on that. She ignored our friend's call and didn't even make an excuse as to why. She hasn't spoken to her since. Not. Cool. All of this aside...I'm still willing to be her friend because whether she knows it or not, a lot of people in her life have given up on her and I don't want to be one of them. This person that she is right now, is not the person she is supposed to be. She is better than that and doesn't need to be dating some loser drug dealing, pool shark that has no legitimate form of income and the intelligence of a empty can of soup. I want her to wake up and smell the wilted roses and realize that you can't just coast through life if you want to be someone. You can't just base your life on a relationship that you claimed was out of boredom. Lying to yourself won't fix anything. You have to live your own life and not just attach yourself onto someone elses in hopes that it will give you purpose. I honestly hope she finds a purpose and doesn't become one of the sad people from this town that winds up pregnant and has to take a dead end job, in a relationship devoid of love because you got trapped into it and all you feel is resentment for the other person. I would hate that for her but if she keeps up this way, she won't find anything but how could she, she's not looking for anything.

are we growing up or just going down?

It seems that good quality friends are becoming harder to find. Is it just me? Maybe I expect too much of my friends. I don't really have a best friend right now. I always used to, now, I feel kind of like I'm missing something. My real best friend or who was my real best friend just abandoned me. I dont know what the deal is...I didn't do anything wrong. I've tried to be the better person and keep the friendship up by calling or w/e but it doesn't work. I really should change the name of my blog to the rantings of a 20-something with shitty friends. What I don't understand is why ppl are the way that they are...it's like hey I want to be a loser? When the question, what do you want to be when you grow up comes about, you never hear anyone say, a loser. Yet, so many people go that route. They can't find it in themselves to do something as simple as finishing high school or going to college. YES, i said simple. I have finished high school and it was rather simple. You have to be at least a junior to drop out and then you're almost done any way...why stop there but people do...i dont get it. With college, its a little harder but its not like I'm saying goto harvard. Community college is college. ANYONE can get in, even...ROCKS or something. If you don't feel up to the challenge of transferring to a larger school like a university to pursue a bachelors, masters, or doctrate...just get your associates or something. SOMETHING...don't just settle. why in the world would anyone want to settle for a crappy retail job. why would you set yourself up to struggle for the rest of your life. I would NEVER want to do that. Everyday I feel like skipping out on school and staying in bed b/c I never goto sleep on time and then I think...I don't want to work in retail for the rest of my life, I need to get a good job. That is a motivator enough for me. I can't stop thinking about this b/c I'm afraid that my "best friend" will become one of these ppl. She finished high school but only the higher beings, if there are any, know if she will make something of herself. She certainly doesnt know. Neither does my sister. She keeps making these claims that she is going to lose weight and join the air force but i have yet to see her try and make it happen. She doesnt work out on a regular basis and if she does she just half asses it. She doesnt eat right by any means and at this rate, me with my undecided major in college will be thru with my fifty billion yrs of school b4 anything even happens with that.

Take Two

I'm not so great at this blogging thing. This will be my second attempt on this site. Hopefully I'll keep up with this one.